Thursday, December 10, 2009

Men, want to get more involved in pregnancy? Here's 10 ways you can.



As a man, it sometimes feels difficult to get fully involved in a pregnancy. The woman is the one carrying the baby, and aside from taking care of your wife, it can feel like there's not a lot you can do to help nurture your unborn child.

If your wife is newly pregnant, or you're planning a pregnancy and want to know how you can help more, fret not! I've put together 10 ways (and there are more - so many, many more...) that you can help out during pregnancy -

1) When you wake to a gentle tap on your shoulder, and see that it's 6am - DON'T pretend to be asleep. Get straight out of bed to make breakfast for your wife. Even if it's for the 4th time since midnight. Which it will be.

2) If you notice cuttlery disappearing at the same time as finding your rubbish bags getting heavier, don't make a fuss. Give them a wash, and get them back into circulation. If you don't, you'll have none left by the end of the week.

3) Wear earmuffs and shoulder pads to bed. The earmuffs so that you're not woken by the sound of food being ravenously devoured at 1am, and the shoulder pads so that you can't feel the tapping finger when that food runs out. Sure, this doesn't help your wife much, but a man has to sleep sometime...

4) Increase your diplomacy skills, a million-fold. If you don't, then good luck to you.

5) Accept that you will have to drive to your local store every night, and get looked up-and-down while you purchase yet another tub of icecream, jar of gerkins, and bottle of tomato sauce.

6) Accept that you will find that your wife no longer likes icecream, gerkins and tomato sauce. Return to the store with a new list (a pizza bun and some caramel sauce) without any fuss, and don't panic when the shopkeeper calls the police. Pay, and leave quickly.

7) Accept that your time spent asleep will decrease astronomically. Or, just end completely. Hope for the former.

8) Get yourself into the habit of continuous loops. For example, filling a hot water bottle, followed by grabbing a bag of peas from the freezer - the hot water bottle for keeping your wife warm, and the peas for cooling her down 5 minutes later. These monotonous, seemingly pointless loops get easier. Keep practicing.

9) If your wife uses the car and the keys go missing, don't panic - she's bound to overheat while you're looking for them, and you'll find them in the freezer next to the peas.

10) Cross your fingers that maybe tonight will be the night that your wife gets angry, and sends you to sleep on the couch.

There you go - hopefully, these tips come in handy for any newly-pregnant-men out there.

Good luck.

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